I look back to my Thursday lately of last week and in it I seem really happy - but yet this week something is completely off. Could it be the pain in my lower back? Could it be work? Could it be other things?

I feel like right now people just want everything from me and I just need to step back and relax and realize that I can’t be everything to everyone all of the time. When I’m at work I feel bad because I can’t give all of my events and volunteers 100% of me, because I work on more than just one event all of the time. Lately it seems like it is a constant struggle for me to prioritize and make everyone happy. I feel like my emails are full of apologies about delays because I can’t dedicate all of my time to certain people and events, and some emails just end up taking precedence over others.

I don’t want to be the girl that keeps apologizing, but I also don’t want to be the girl that is overwhelmed. I went from being gone in Memphis for a week, to my big annual dinner event, to a marathon, to two days in the office, then Memphis again, and then injuring my back. I wish there was a way to make people understand that I truly do want to respond to their emails and I do value the work they do - but there is only so much time that I have to focus on each event, and I’m sorry that I do not have more of it. Once I finish playing catch-up this week, I should be good to go, it’s just getting through this week that is the tough part.

But with this also comes a work/life balance that I need to obtain. Honestly, not having enough rest and having the “work” portion weigh the scale down is probably what added to my stress and forced my back to give out. So today, after being at work again after 2 days of not working because of my back - I made a resolution to myself to not work past 6PM (at least today, tomorrow is another story), leave my blackberry at work, and come home to relax.

I think I’ve also started to realize that I’m not getting enough “me” time. My life is in a constant state of travel it seems - in Peoria for 4 days, back in Chicago for 3. I don’t think that my body can keep up. I don’t think that my mind can either. The inner only child in me is screaming for alone time - but yet I feel like I have to make everyone happy by going to Chicago and constantly being with people, and I just don’t think I can do it for much longer without burn-out.

Anyway, I am feeling just a tad bit better after writing this, so I think it helped. We’ll see how I feel in the morning.